Toilet Paper Mishap

I was standing in our bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. After about five minutes of vanity, I put my head down as I rested my hands on the small sink-counter there. I felt wetness. My hands were in small puddles of water. I didn't like that. I also saw the roll of toilet paper resting at the toilet edge of the counter, ready to be 'used'. I decided to wipe up this water because I didn't like it there. It must have been Cheryl who left it there for me. Its not like I would leave a watery mess out. It couldn't have been me... after all, its my blog :) I'm always cleaning up after her. Our bathroom counter always has water on it it seems. The counter itself must be sweating or something. In my vain daze I go to tear one single square of double quilted Charmin toilet paper off of the roll, and cleanly wipe up the water splashes. I only need one square because I'm eco friendly, and I don't like wasting things like paper. I firmly grasp the edge of the paper and decided that I must pull briskly in order to prevent the roll of paper from flying off of the counter. I then decided to pull away from me, to the side of the counter (towards the open lidded toilet bowl.) Pulling away from me would a cleaner rip, and prevent the roll from flying off the counter onto the floor. I was being lazy and didn't feel like having to bend over to pick up a dropped roll of toilet paper off the floor. I quickly snap my wrist to the side and watch the practically full roll of Charmin extra soft Toilet paper plunge into the open basin toilet. Cheryl must have left the lid open again. I keep telling her.... I briefly screamed because my mind was acting quicker than my body was. I looked at my hand and saw that my hand still had ahold of the single square of tissue. The first clear thought that I remember was that I needed to pull the roll out of the wet (yet clean) toilet. The best way to do that, my mind thought, was to pull the end of the roll that was still securely attached, and to lift it to safety, then easily deposit it in the neighboring trash can; kind of like a yo-yo. So my attached hand gave the paper streamer a tug, splashing [clean] water up onto me and onto the floor! Seeing that my 'clever' methods were of no use at all I then decided to pull the 'rip-cord' and just plunge my hand on it, rescuing the roll. I did it, and I didn't get to much wetter than I already was. Thank the stars for that. If I had waited any longer, the tissue paper would have begun to disintegrate and it surely would have clogged the toilet. Then I would have called Cheryl in to help fix it. And she never would have let me hear the end of it. After Cheryl heard the thud of the wet and soggy roll hit the bottom of the trash can, she then ran into the room to ask what I was doing. It was such an ordeal I had worked up a mild sweat. Cheryl was confused, so I had to explain that I fixed it. then I just walked off, and went to wash my hands with a Brillo pad and bleach in the other room. As I just finished up scouring my hands clean Cheryl comes into the kitchen and asks me why there was a soggy roll of TP in the trash. And to avoid one of her famous confusing essay-question moments I just told her I didn't know how it got there.
:)im